marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
