I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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