And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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