North Korea, Best Korea!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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