And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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