I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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