I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
