is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
