I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
