I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
