Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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