So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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