Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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