OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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