Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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