You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
