i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
