I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
