I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
