I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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