the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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