There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
