Your face is a jimmy john
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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