He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
