Betty ford says i'm here all night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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