Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
