We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
