i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
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I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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