He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
