my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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