i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
