That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
