This girl is more easily done than said...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
