this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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