so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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