look no pants
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
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