I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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