i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
