I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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