Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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