I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think my moral compass just broke
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
