Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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