Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
