I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
