No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!†In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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