what day is it and did you see me today?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
