I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
