between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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