It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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