i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So. Much. Porn.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
