I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
