it wasn't lemon gatorade
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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