Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
